This Post is About Me.
In this episode, Evan sees himself in a Missed Connections post and reaches out to the poster. But there’s just one problem: he has no idea who his missed connection could be.
The Missed Connections Podcast delves into the heartwarming, bizarre, and sometimes poignant real-life stories from Craigslist's Missed Connections section.
Each episode uncovers the hidden narratives behind fleeting encounters, exploring the emotions and what-ifs of people searching for lost chances.
In this episode, Even responds to a Missed Connections post made by a secret admirer, and we explore the darker history of personal ads.
Listen by clicking the link above. Or, if you're into podcast transcripts, by all means, read on.
Speaker 1 Lady in the line, 711, you were standing in line when I walked in, you made eye contact with me, and we smiled. You were very beautiful.
Speaker 2 Athletic, built, gentleman alone in the car, turning left, you looked once, as did I, and I noticed you looked again. I meant nothing sexual. I was having a horrible day. Thank you for being kind.
Speaker 3 Long shot, but searching. We met three months ago. Your name is Tom. You drove Alexis. My name is Richard. It's a long shot, but I have to try.
Elyse These are posts from Craigslist Missed Connections, and you're listening to the Missed Connections Podcast. We're your hosts, Elyse,
Elena and Elena. Each episode uncovers the hidden narratives behind fleeting encounters, exploring the emotions and what-ifs of people searching for lost chances. Join us as we delve into stories from the infamous Craigslist section, featuring interviews with real people who have found connections using this platform. These stories are not rehearsed, and the voices you hear are not actors. Join us as we navigate through love, serendipity, and the human desire for connection. One missed connection at a time.
Elena, Previously on Missed Connections. This is Evan.
Evan I'm a teacher for Charlotte public schools. It's very weird to use Craigslist for dating. I don't know anybody who does that, and I, I guess, there was a sense of what if somebody posted something about me? One day, it did happen.
Elyse Author and historian Francesca Bowman, the world's leading expert on the history of personal ads, explains how seeking connection in this forum is actually just a part of human nature.
Francesca Bowman Humans actually don't change that much, and they have these basic, basic in all senses, sort of human desires and needs and insecurities that stay consistent through history.
Elyse The first missed connection dates back to a publication called Tatler, established in 1709 it was one of the first household magazines to exist.
Francesca Bowman Almost right away, this new technology, this new form of media, was used for expressing desire or sex or love, and that's always been the way.
Elena After casually scrolling the Missed Connections page on Craigslist from time to time, Evan, a preschool teacher living in Chicago, stumbled upon a post he didn't expect one describing him.
Ellie Long hair and dreamy eyes at Red Hot W, 4m you had a black bike. We were with our own friends, but I liked looking at you, looking at me.
Evan I saw a post that said, long hair and dreamy eyes at red hot. And the evening before, I was eating a cheeseburger at this place called Red Hot Ranch, and I had had a black bike. I was with my friends. The Post said that it was a woman for a man, and said that she liked the way that I was looking at her, and wanted to connect. I quickly went to No, no. This is definitely my friends fucking with me like this is definitely them posting this to try to get me to say something embarrassing, and then they'll make fun of me about it.
Elyse After taking time to check with his friends, Evan came to the realization that this post was not his friends fucking with him. It was real.
Elena Her name is Ellie. She created the post and it worked —She found her missed connection. She had used Craigslist previously, but only to sell things or find roommates. This post would mark her first and last time ever using the missed connections page to find her match.
Ellie I was, I guess, aware of the Missed Connections section as being a part of Craigslist. What a weird thing that some people, you know, some people post on here, and so I wouldn't say that I paid attention or was looking necessarily.
Elyse Ellie moved to Chicago after leaving a long-term relationship in Austin, Texas, a relationship that she originally thought would have ended up with a wedding. But we're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's get to know a little bit about Ellie. Growing up. Ellie lived two hours outside of New York City. She loved theater and sports and considered herself to be raised upper middle class.
Ellie I was very fortunate. My dad worked in sales, and he was very successful at it. He worked out in New York for 30 years. Unfortunately, didn't really see him a lot. There was nothing that my brother and I didn't have that we needed.
Elena Ellie grew up taking ski trips in Vermont and received a world-class education. She recognizes how fortunate she was growing up, but still found herself struggling to find her path and her perfect match to walk it with her.
Ellie Being back in Chicago, there's still a lot of personal work that I had not yet done in therapy. I mean, that's always a journey, and I never ended up having a long relationship past, I would say, like maybe three months with anybody. I've always been drawn to people who are charismatic but comfortable not having to take up a lot of space.
Elyse With her type in mind, Ellie got right back to dating, even if it might have felt like it was too soon; regardless of not feeling emotionally ready, she made her best effort to go out.
Ellie I was pretty much I was in a pretty good groove with going on dates, using apps, meeting people in real life, and seeing friends.
ElyseOne spring night, Ellie and her longtime friend Rick decided to get together for a night out. It was a typical evening in Chicago, drinks, maybe a show or a cool spot to hang out and definitely not thinking about the missed connections page on Craigslist.
Ellie There was one or two, maybe two other people, and it was at the point where it was time for some late-night food. So we ended up at Red Hot Ranch, ordered some hot dogs and fries. They had to have been like, you know, during the morning, I was sitting facing the walk-up window, and so Evan and his friends came in on their bikes, they were ordering, and I was able to make eye contact with him. It was just one of those classic situations where you make repetitive eye contact with someone, and it's very clear that you're looking at each other.
Elyse This wasn't just any eye contact. This random eye contact was substantial because it had moved Ellie enough to want to post about it on the Missed Connections page, something she had never done before.
Ellie He was looking over at me. So it was, I think I knew it was very clear that it was kind of like, oh, you're cute, you're cute, you're cute, you're cute. You know, meeting in real life is so different than being on an app. I remember Evan being like, kind of slight, maybe my height, a little bit taller. The thing that drew me in was like, you know, the attention and the eye contact. I remember making this little post and putting it onto the universe, and I think I anticipated thinking about it later and being like, Oh, that was silly. I was just was amused that that, it you know, existed on the internet. So I really didn't expect anything of it, you know. Like, I wouldn't have been like, "hey, everybody. Like, I used Missed Connections for my dating life," you know. But it had worked.
Elyse It had worked because Evan was ready to reach out, and neither he nor Ellie knew what journey this post would take them on.
Evan I hadn't remembered this person, and I responded with a picture of myself, just because I was like, then you'll know that it's me. Like, are you talking about me? Like, is this about me? And she was like, responded with, "Oh my god, yes, it is. I can't believe you responded."
Elena The exchange left both Ellie and Evan feeling elated about the situation. Soon after, they traded numbers and began texting, as the relationship grew from a Missed Connection post to email to texting. By the next day, the two were ready to schedule a date.
Evan She told me that she also rides bikes and that she had an extra ticket to a concert that very night, and wanted to know if I wanted to meet up with her with our bikes and ride to this show.
Elena Evan was excited about the date. Meeting someone on Craigslist, a completely anonymous platform, was not something he ever expected.
Evan I think, via using her phone number, like, kind of social media stalked her, like, found, found something about who it was and but there was, like, you know, I wasn't, like, friends with her. I didn't want her to know that I had been social. Had been social media stalking her, but also, like, I hadn't remembered this person, so I had no idea who I was about to meet. But I also did not tell Ellie that I didn't remember her, and I have always felt fairly dishonest about that, or at least that I had withheld information, and I felt a little bit of, I guess, some lingering guilt around that.
Elena Evan had no recollection of making dreamy eye contact the night before, however, he was hopeful. He and Ellie agreed to meet up at Wicker Park, but Evan wasn't sure who to look for.
Evan I think I waited at the park for maybe five or 10 minutes before she arrived. I was extremely nervous, right? I was like, even with the like, we had started texting, I had kind of found out that this person was a real human being. There is still this, like, since this, this, this nervousness of, I could very well get, I could very well get murdered.
Elyse Evan's fears about being murdered weren't totally unfounded. As long as personal ads and misconnections have been around, they've been used for nefarious means.
Francesca Bowman It's because, again, with a Missed Connections ad, you know, it could be anyone. In the 1880s and 1890s, there was an explosion of crime perpetrated through the personal ads, fraud and bigamy, and then even some murder.
Elyse One of the most prolific female serial killers ever, Belle Gunness, used the personal ads to find her victims. Her crimes got so much publicity that they impacted the American psyche by intensifying the stigma around these ads for generations to come, making people believe that if you met someone through the newspaper, you were going to get murdered. She began placing marriage ads in Chicago newspapers. In 1905, one of her ads was answered by the unfortunate fellow named Henry Gerholt.
He saw her personal ad requesting an acquaintance to help her run her large farm, and that no replies by letter would be considered without a visit from the sender. So he decided to pay Bell a visit, and his family failed to hear from him ever again. When they reached out to Bell, looking for him, she told them that he had gone off with some horse traders. Well, that story doesn't stop there. We all know a serial killer doesn't earn that name for only one murder.
Elena She wasted no time, because less than a year later, in 1906, she met John Moe when he answered another one of her ads, and no one ever saw him again. John Moe was no mo'. Overall, she is thought to have killed a total of 14 victims over her spree, and she was an equal opportunity serial killer, because some of those victims were her own children. 1908 was when her reign of terror came to an end. Her house burned down, and in the ruins, police found 11 bodies, including her own.
With murder on his mind, Evan, easy for his date to spot with his black bike, long hair, and dreamy eyes, anxiously waited in the park.
Evan I was extremely nervous, so I had no idea who I was about to meet, and we had started texting. I had kind of found out that this person was a real human being. There is still this like, since this, this, this nervousness of I could very well get murdered. Then she approached me, I thought like, '“Wow. This is a very beautiful woman who is approaching me, who is excited to spend some time together.”
Elyse After anxiously waiting, the fear of not remembering who he had made dreamy eye contact with the night before resided once he laid eyes on Ellie.
Evan I think things clicked between us. We were like joking and biking and we went to this concert. It was not my type of music. I remember like standing next to her at this concert and her reaching and holding my hands while the music was playing.
Elyse Both Evan and Elie had used dating apps before, and had had meetups, but this date felt different.
Ellie We already knew that we were interested. We were attracted to each other, right? Sometimes, when you meet up with someone off a dating app, and you get there and you're like, oh my god, wow. Misjudged that they look way different, or I hate their voice, or their personality is trash, or whatnot, but I remember him being pretty even keeled, and it just felt, it felt very natural, I think. And easy.
Elena The concert went well, so they decided to keep the night going. Ellie and Evan bike back to their neighborhood to get pizza and some beers.
Evan I remember feeling that fluttering feeling in your stomach, but I also remember like thinking, this is incredibly romantic, this whole thing. Then when we were leaving the pizza place, she said that she wanted to take me somewhere. She's like, "It's a surprise." And I was like," All right, well, come on, man. Like, I gotta know where we're going. I'm not murdered yet. I guess that my cell phone knows that your cell phone exists, and you'll get caught, probably, but please, I still don't want to die". So she said that she wanted to take me to this park to show me something.
So we biked to Humboldt Park. We kind of were like in this path that went away from buildings in a section of the park that's close to this lagoon. It's a very beautiful part of the park. And like, she starts riding into the grass, and I'm like, "Where the fuck are we going?" She stops and sits down in the grass and shows me all these small blue flowers that had just come into bloom for the season, which I had never really noticed or paid much attention to before. And she said that, like, this was one of her favorite spots, especially this time of the year, because of the blooming flowers at this time, like, it was definitely even more romantic than before. I think it was approaching midnight, and then we kissed.
Ellie I remember it being, I don't really have any memories from that first date. I don't even remember any first kiss.
Next Time on Missed Connections...
Ellie For me, the end goal has always been like, have a relationship, fall in love, etc, etc. So yeah, I guess in that sense, I definitely wanted it to work.
Missed Connections is a Weather Tomorrow production, written and produced by Elena Pizzo and Elyse Wild. If you have a Missed Connection you'd like to share, please reach out at missedconnectionspodofficial.@gmail.com