Long Hair, Dreamy Eyes
In this episode, Evan and Ellie go on a second date. Christy soothes her broken heart by posting a Missed Connection.
The Missed Connections Podcast delves into the heartwarming, bizarre, and sometimes poignant real-life stories from Craigslist's Missed Connections section.
Each episode uncovers the hidden narratives behind fleeting encounters, exploring the emotions and what-ifs of people searching for lost chances.
In this episode, Even responds to a Missed Connections post made by a secret admirer, and we explore the darker history of personal ads.
Listen by clicking the link above. Or, if you're into podcast transcripts, by all means, read on.
Speaker 1 Lady in the line, 711, you were standing in line when I walked in, you made eye contact with me, and we smiled. You were very beautiful,
Speaker 2 Athletic built gentleman alone in the car, turning left, you looked once, as did I, and I noticed you looked again. I meant nothing sexual. I was having a horrible day. Thank you for being kind. With an audience,
Speaker 3 Long shot, but searching. We met three months ago. Your name is Tom. You drove Alexis. My name is Richard. It's a long shot, but I have to try.
Elyse These are posts from Craigslist Missed Connections, and you're listening to the Missed Connections Podcast. We're your hosts, Elyse —
Elena — and Elena. Each episode uncovers the hidden narratives behind fleeting encounters, exploring the emotions and what-ifs of people searching for lost chances. We delve into stories from the infamous Craigslist section, featuring interviews with real people who have found connections using this platform. These stories are not rehearsed, and the voices you hear are not actors. Join us as we navigate through love, serendipity, and the human desire for connection. One Missed Connection at a time. Previously on Missed Connections..
Evan I saw a post that said long hair and dreamy eyes at Red Hot. And the evening before, I was eating a cheeseburger at this place called Red Hot Ranch. The post said that it was a woman for a man. It said that she liked the way that I was looking at her, and wanted to connect.
Ellie I just remember making this little post and putting it into the universe.
Evan She told me that she had an extra ticket to a concert that very night, but I remember standing next to her at this concert, and her reaching and holding my hand while the music was playing. It was late. I think it was like approaching midnight, and then we kissed.
Elena Evan and Ellie found a connection on an unusual platform, and that platform was the Missed Connections page of Chicago. As two socially active and technology-savvy young adults, neither expected to connect through Craigslist, but this is where they found themselves.
Elyse The typical platform in today's modern world to find love is through dating apps. Evan and Ellie both have used the apps before, and they are not alone; as of 2023, 1/3 of US adults use dating apps to find romance. The most popular apps are Tinder, Bumble and Hinge.
Elena Craigslist is not in this list. However, Craigslist does contain huge amounts of data about human mate choice. The difference between Craigslist and dating apps is the middleman on dating apps; the choices you see are curated, and you aren't in as much control of your destiny as perhaps you think you are.
Elyse Author and historian Francesca Bowman, the world's leading expert on the history of personal ads, explains how human mate choice remains a driving force throughout history.
Francesca Bouwman It's a much bigger subject than people realize. If you think of it as working on human emotions, trying to understand it, the history of it, even in a day and age of like so many more options, human mate choice, regardless of one's own personal feelings, that obviously it's going to remain at the center of the human experience for good or ill. So in a way, what could be more important than a human mate choice?
Elyse According to Bowman's latest book, “Matrimony, Inc., From Personal Ads to Swiping Right, the Story of America Looking for Love,” personal ads would contain qualities one is looking for in a partner that they probably wouldn't have said to someone's face. In 1788, a man placed a personal ad in the New York Times seeking “a woman under 40, not deformed.” Other notable ads include a man seeking women “with a well-shaped head, clean skin, sweet breath, and a good set of teeth.” These ads were usually men seeking women, but in the 1840s, as the first women's rights movement gathered momentum, women began placing their own personal ads. “I want no brainless dandy or foppish fool, but a practical man who can drive a coach or rock a cradle, hold a garden or attend the ballroom.”
Francesca Bouwman What is always interesting about human nature and the human experience is that Missed Connections and the like do endure. So with everything that changes in the world, all the talk about this is going to die out, and marriage is going to die out, and it's just going to be about sex or whatever, everything's going to change, when actually, so little changes about humans. They love a Missed Connection, and they love the thrill of being like, Oh, maybe I can track that guy down.
Elyse Speaking of tracking a guy down, let's get back to Ellie and Evan. These two lovebirds connected through Ellie's post on Craigslist. Ellie used the page to find the dreamy-eyed man she made eye contact with the night before, after finding the post about him, Evan responded, and the two just enjoyed their first date.
Evan I remember feeling that fluttering feeling in your stomach, but I also remember thinking like, "This is incredibly romantic, this whole thing."
Ellena Evan was taken aback by Ellie, a bold woman who goes after what she wants. Her spontaneity alone was keeping him on his toes throughout their entire date. For Ellie, however, the date wasn't as memorable. She didn't even remember their first kiss.
Ellie Maybe I'm downplaying it. I remember having a great time and wanting to see him again, and I wanted it to work out, because we had met in such an interesting way, and anybody that I was attracted to and had a good time with, I wanted it to work.
Elyse Evan and Ellie wanted to see each other again. The two were ready to schedule a second date, this time, something a little more cozy.
Ellie He invited me over to his apartment. He had a charcuterie spread, and it was candlelit, and that was, to me, really impressive. There were, you know, a lot of things that I liked. He was a sweet personality, a teacher and caring, and maybe did a couple of creative things.
Evan It felt really special. We agreed that we were going to see each other more. Proceeded to go on dates for about a month after getting to know her better and spending more time with her, those feelings of excitement and romantic interest kind of faded.
Ellie I was out with a friend and he was out with a friend, and I was like, Oh, we're in the same neighborhood. We should meet up. And we did. And he talked to me outside and was like, I don't know if I can do this.
Evan We stopped seeing each other after about a month.
Elena There are two parts to human mate choice — deciding who you want to be with, but also deciding who you don't want to be with. And just like the postings of the past, just because you posted an ad or answered one, that doesn't mean things are going to work out.
Ellie I guess his ex contacted him. He told me about it, and I guess I didn't realize that it was such a major relationship, or he was still affected by it.
Elyse Evan felt slightly guilty over ending things with Ellie, or, more specifically, the way it ended.
Elena I think I would have been a little bit gentler, not that I wasn't mean, but it's hard to know that you've disappointed someone or hurt somebody. I think we all know that from the ways that we've been hurt in the past, that we don't want to hurt other people.
Ellie Either he ended up texting me, I think, the day after, or maybe the two days later, saying, I'm really sorry for choosing to have that conversation with you with such short limits and catching you off guard. And I was like, Yeah, that was shitty. Do you want to talk more about it? He sort of basically gave an explanation that was a combination of, I'm not ready for this. Slash, I don't know if this is the right thing.
Elena The fantasy of Ellie and Evan's Missed Connection was greater than their actual connection, the idea of your whole life hinging on a moment of charge eye contact is enough for anyone to get swept away in the perfect serendipity of it all.
Ellie I mean, I think it's an example of how I can get a little carried away in my mind, creating this sort of fantasy and romance with someone whom I've only just met. You know, like getting a little too far ahead of myself in my head, posting on Missed Connections was sort of a way to do something about that. You know, it was a way to take this fantasy of us liking each other and doing something to make it a reality.
Elyse Regardless of the outcome, the experience was still one that both Evan and Ellie recall fondly. For Ellie, it reminded her that magic can be made out of the smallest moments. And for Evan, it gave him a boost of confidence.
Evan Somebody saw me in the world and was like, “Wow, I'm attracted to this person, and wanted to write about wanting to see you specifically.” That's very validating, very confidence-boosting. I felt really good about myself. I've never had a feeling like that before, and maybe that's just because of the platform. We've all heard horror stories of Craigslist meetups, and the danger components were a little bit exciting as well. I really admired her courage in posting that — she was a very assertive and confident woman.
Elena This story did not end like the movies, with the couple living out their happily ever after together. As Even and Ellie went on to live their separate lives, across the country, Christy decides to take a chance and makes a post looking for her prince charming.
Elyse Next time on Missed Connections.
Christy So I was at my friend's house, and I had finished off a bottle of wine. I was looking through Missed Connections. I just decided to post a little something about how I may have missed my prince charming, but I remember feeling disgusted by most of them, not interested in any way, until I read Quentin's email, which was a poem.