Fuck Yeah: Awesome News 09
Snails, furries and "I swear it's not a dildo."
This week in Fuck Yeah News, snails’ love language is gift-giving; furries use their collective fetish-y power to do a really good thing; and a woman is called out at airport security for what they think is the gnarliest looking dildo.
Wild
In the coolest fucking environmental news ever, a rainforest of supertrees descended from a time when all of the continents were one land mass is being planted in Australia.
Like many people who visit America’s wang to get their shit together, this 375-pound loggerhead turtle went home after three months in a Florida rehab center. Congratulations, big guy.
Wonderful
Furries (yes, those people) raised $100,000 for a senior dog sanctuary in Pittsburg. As far as we are concerned, they can parade their strange fetish around as much as they please
Ping pong prodigy Zhiying Zeng gave up her dreams of Olympic greatness 38 years ago in 1986 when she quit the sport altogether at age 20. During COVID-19, she picked up the paddle again, and now at age 58, she’s back the fuck at it and making her Olympic debut in Paris. This is the comeback story we want.
This Connecticut dentist is obsessed with Narhwale teeth and we think that is fucking precious.
Weird
These quick-thinking locals in New Zeeland used bottles of beer to save a pub that was ablaze.
Airport security was convinced this woman was carrying an enormous, jagged glass dildo in her luggage.
In a great blessing from the lord, police body cam footage captured the moment a Columbus, Ohio man named Matthew Pancake (MATTHEW FUCKING PANCAKE) was arrested with multiple gerbils shoved into his leopard print pants.