A Master Guide on Getting Closure for Every Imaginable Situation
The need for closure comes from not wanting to sit in anger, frustration, sadness, and hurt, which is totally understandable cause that shit sucks.
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You don’t, because closure doesn’t fucking exist. Not in the way we think it does.
Let us explain.
Life is full of situations that can leave us feeling completely mind fucked and heart fucked, and craving a neat little bow: break-ups, friendship fallouts, firings, deaths.
The need for closure comes from not wanting to sit in anger, frustration, sadness, and hurt, which is totally understandable cause that shit sucks.
We want to have one last conversation with the person who broke us; to return to the scene of the crime one last time to see if there’s evidence we missed; to ruminate until it all makes sense, so we can finally move on.
We believe that closure will be a balm, relieve the pain, and remedy the brokenness when something, or someone, happens that is out of our control. When people leave us, die, or disappoint us, we want it to have meant something other than hurt. We want it not to have happened.
But ya know what? Closure is not an external event. Closure comes from within, baby.
But Like, Where Did Closure Come from, Anyway?
The concept of closure comes from Gestalt psychology, which believes that when it comes to human perception, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Like, if you see a half-drawn circle, your mind quickly fills in the missing parts and perceives the shape as a circle, not just a bunch of fucked up curvy lines. We try to do the same thing when it comes to shit that happens to us, but life ain’t a bunch of broken lines waiting to form a shape.
But sometimes, the blanks are just blanks.
Move the Fuck On
We believe closure comes from having a complete understanding of why something happened — but it really comes from accepting that you may never fully understand. Some things aren’t meant for you to comprehend, and you find peace from just living your fucking life anyway. You gotta move the fuck on, babes.
Relentlessly pursuing closure can deplete your reserves to engage healthy coping mechanisms, like journaling, exercising, crying your goddamn eyes out, watching movies that make your heart happy, spending time with people who love you — all of the shit that makes life less fucking hard.
Closure comes from moving on, from time, from living your life, from finding joy. Sometimes there is no big picture. Sometimes it just fucking hurts. Sometimes, shit is just shit. And that’s ok.